Today’s Track : Eurythmics – Here Comes The Rain Again
Oh my god gas prices are so ridiculously high these days. Wasn't it supposed to go down after the US had reinforced their position in the Middle East and got their greedy little hands on the oil? So not only has Bush not found the supposed WMD, he hasn't even lowered our gas prices. I swear that guy is useless. Where's Bob Dole when you need him? I bet Bob Dole would have at least given us discounts on Viagra...not that I need it.
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You know when guys take a pee they usually shake their thingies a few times when they're done so that any pee that's still dripping from their tap is shaken off before they stick their wangs back into their pants. The point is to not get any pee on their pants or boxers. Women do the same thing except they can't shake so they use toilet paper. Well I just went to the washroom and I must have shook it a little too hard because I got some on my pants in the process. So now I'm walking around all day with urine on my pants.
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I work in an office where 95% of the employees are female. In fact, my cubicle is surrounded by 5 other cubicles that are occupied by women. This normally would be a good situation to be in except when their menstrual cycles synchronize. I try and keep a mental note of when these "days" occur and I’m conveniently sick for those days.
I went out to lunch with these ladies today and you wouldn't believe the things that come out of their mouths. The conversation was extremely perverted and yet whenever I made a comment that was mildly perverse they were in shock!
Barbara – This is a nice mini-van you have Judith!
Judith – Yeah my husband bought it for my birthday.
Sandra – The only thing it's missing is a dvd player for the backseats.
Judy – So we could watch porn on the way to lunch.
All the ladies – (laughing)
Me – Nothing makes me want to eat like porn.
All the ladies – (silence)
Sandra - Let’s not go there; I want to keep my food down today.
Me – What did I say something?
This is clearly a case of the double standard.
